Life in the future.

Will I get married soon? Will I be able to have my own child? Will I build a strong career? Can I survive this world?
So often I questioned myself what the future holds for me. It makes me feel agitated every time I try to picture myself in my mid 30's. What scares me the most is, will I ever get married? I have a good man with me now but life can changed to anything as fate keeps on changing. I myself, might end up to become someone's else bride. I can accept the facts that life can be with anyone, married to anybody. But I can't seems to accept the facts that I need to be patient in order to get the real man come to my life. I want to rush everything, anything, or whatever you call in a relation. I want to get married soon!

It makes me feeling so delirious but I'm going back to my hometown next month (this time for good ole time), I'm challenging myself to improve better in all my weakness. I know money will become tougher in KK but on the positive side, I have my family there! It's not like I'm saying I will be depending on them for my financial while I'm looking for job, but at least I can have my supporting bone through mentality vibe. I need a good aura surrounding me as I've been away from home for too long and longing for my family's presence is what I always need.

Below is the list that I will try to do whilst I'm home,

1. Learn to cook and bake. ( Recipe collecting is almost done)
2. Learn to sew. (At least learn to do a more fine stitching)
3. Learn to be patient. (I spent most of my day moody and cursing for no reasons)
4. Learn to garden. (I'm awfully forgetful, perhaps I can teach myself to be more alert by watering my garden twice a day)
5. Learn to be more tolerate. (I can't go on listening to others for hours, I will shut them up even before they start to talk)
6. Learn to swim! or at least float. (I will never be able to swim due to my almost-drowned past. The aquaphobia is really something I don't fancy)
7. Exercise everyday. (Jog around the neighborhood)
8. Sleep and wake up at the same time everyday (Wake up at 6am and sleep at 12am)
9. Eat healthily. (Less salts, less sugar, less carb, more greens and calcium)
10. Attend church weekly or regularly (Been away for 6 awful years, and I know the Holy Ghost is what I needed the most)


As I listed 10 things do as I called them self-challenged, I will try my best to keep all 10 goals achieved before the end of 2011. If I can clear all this goals, I know and I'm sure that I am ready to be someone's bride, wife and mother. Hopefully by doing all this I will stop wondering, what the future holds in its hand for me.

Cooking mama :p